Knuckle Down
Album - 25 gennaio 2005 - Debaser id 184741

That's just my cowgirl alter-ego
Riding on her bar room bull
Dripping with the sweat of irony
As the cowboys whoop and drool
Shooting glances at the mirror
To see if her scar is showing
She is truly going nowhere tonight

Lecherous old lady wanna-be
Much too young and shy
Flailing her whole life
Just thinking she can teach herself to fly
Vehement romantic
Frantic for forever right now
But forever's going nowhere tonight

Sick of goading her self-loathing
She thinks, I think I'd better leave
'Course whiskey makes me smarter
And I'm happy as can be
But please excuse me darlin
It's not you
It's me

And there's a dusty old dust storm on mars, they say
So tonight you can't see it too clear
Still I stood in line to look through their telescope
Looked like a distant ship light
As seen from a foggy pier
And I know that I was warned
Still it was not what I hoped
Yes I know that I was warned
Still it was not what I hoped

I think I'm done gunnin to get closer
To some imagined bliss
I gotta knuckle down
And just be ok with this
I'm gonna knuckle down
Just be ok with this
'Course that star struck girl is already someone I miss

I swear some stuff you just see better from further away
And I think I communicate best now, the less I say
And I can't dance if the band can't play
And the vibe is going nowhere tonight

'Cuz somewhere between Hollywood and its pretty happiness
And an anguish so infinite it's anybody's guess
Is a place where people are all teachers
And this just one long class
And that ass will get you nowhere tonight

There's a dusty old dust storm on mars they say
So tonight you can't see it too clear
Still I stood in line to look through their telescope
Looked like a distant ship light
As seen from a foggy pier
And I know that I was warned
Still it was not what I hoped
Yeah I know that I was warned
Still it was not what I hoped

I think I'm done gunnin to get closer
To some imagined bliss
I gotta knuckle down
Just be ok with this
Gotta knuckle down
Just be ok with this

'Course that star struck girl

I am out here studying stones
Trying to learn to be less alive
Using all of my will
To keep very still
Still even on the inside
I've cut all of the pertinent wires
So my eyes can't make that connection
I am holding my breath
I am feigning my death
When I'm looking in your direction

'Course numb is an old hat
Old as my oldest memories
See that one's my mother
And that one's my father
And that one in the hat, that's me
It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon
When I got out on the open road
But any more pent up emotion
And I think I'm gonna explode

There's never been an endeavor so strange
As trying to slow the blood in my veins
To keep my face blank
As a stone that just sank
Until not a ripple remains
I am high above the tree line
Sitting cross legged on the ground
When all of the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted
That's when I'm gonna come down

'Course numb is an old hat
Old as my oldest memories
See that one's my mother
And that one's my father
And that one in the hat, that's me
It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon
When I got out on the open road
But any more pent up emotion
And I think I'm gonna explode

I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
Like love's mementos usually do
And I look up to see who's different here
The latest me or the latest you

Course, you're the kind of guy who doesn't lie
He just doctors everything
Chooses some unassuming finger
And quietly moves his wedding ring
Who rewrites his autobiography
For any pretty girl who'll sing
But you can't fool the queen, baby
Cuz I married the king

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I kissed you on the street that night
On the far side of four
But I didn't like the taste
In my mouth or yours
And ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit
For once I had the balls to call it
Just call it
But a lesson must be lived
In order to be learned
And the clarity to see and stop this now
That is what I've earned

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
And heartache not so dire
Cuz I looked up to see integrity
Finally won over desire

I was born to two immigrants
Who knew why they were here
They were happy to pay taxes
For the schools and roads
Happy to be here
They took it seriously
The second job of citizenry
My mother went campaigning door to door
And holding to her hand was me

I was just a girl in a room full of women
Licking stamps and laughing
I remember the feeling of community brewing
Of democracy happening

But I suppose like anybody
I had to teach myself to see
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to church
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to school
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to the house of my family
All that stuff that was not lost on me

Teach myself to see each of us
Through the lens of forgiveness
Like we're stuck with each other (god forbid!)
Teach myself to smile and stop and talk
To a whole other color kid
Teach myself to be new in an instant
Like the truth is accessible at any time
Teach myself it's never really one or the other
There's a paradox in every paradigm

I was just a girl in a room full of women
Licking stamps and laughing
I remember the feeling of community brewing