Philophobia
Album - 20 aprile 1998 - Debaser id 16337

It was the biggest ever cock you'd ever seen, but you've no idea where that cock has been.
You said you were careful - you never were with me.
I heard you did it four times and jonnies come in packs of three.

She was the best shag I'd ever had.
That doesn't mean I'm saying, bedwise, you were bad.
I think you were working, we got a hotel.
We didn't have anything but I thought I might as well.


I never told the rest.
I was drunk and I told you I was thinking about a test.
You know I just said it for effect.
Then you laughed and said I'd f**k anything in a skirt once I'm erect.

And she's a famous harlot in this town.
I know enough to, but still I couldn't turn her down.
He said I'm an arsehole, what was I thinking?
It's far too easy to blame it on the drinking.

Sit by me silently and brush my beard. No mess to mop up from the bed today. Will we sit next door and watch the soaps? We've nothing to do and we've nothing to say. Oh, when you go... Recently, we've been somewhat volatile, and last night it starts with that Joan Osbourne song. I hate it anyway, but you made it worse. I know why you laughed and you should know you were wrong. Oh, when you go... Bird number one taught me I shouldn't trust, that's why I find unfounded doubts abound. But number two proved that with none, we've nothing. And now I'm only happy when you're not around. Oh, when you go...

How am I supposed to walk you home when you're at least fifty feet ahead?
Cause you walked off in a huff and I'm that pissed I can't even remember what it was I said.

And I don't doubt you wouldn't touch him now, but let's face it, you always use to go for that kind.
And if you ever really wanted two men at once, all I'm saying is I better be one of the guys you've got in mind.

Here we go same time, same place.
I don't like the way you kiss his face.
It's not that there's no trust as such.


I'd love to make up but I've had to much.

Now you know fine well I'm staying, I've only ever carried out that threat once before.
And even then I coudn't get far and you're mum came and called me back before I'd even made it to the door.

Here we go same time, same place.
My embarassment versus your damp face.
We could down here or we could talk in bed.
But I'm afraid that's all, as I've already said.

Why could I not speak?
You're not so unique.
My eyes stayed on the floor.
I make a little suggestion,
before I pop the question.
But I was far too out my face.
I was out my face.

"It's the first time in ages I've actually had the guts to ask,
but I'm feeling particularly confident tonight, if you know what I mean.
But that's the thing - You don't know what I mean.
The reason I fancy you in the first place is is the same reason we won't get on,
you're just not into it. I mean, you're cute and you're innocent
and you're nice and all that, but you barely even drink."

No meeting was I granted.
But now the seed's been planted.
And now you're in the know.
Too steaming too impress.
Not a know, not quite a yes.
You ask if that's okay.
I suppose it's okay.

You'd already been half an hour with pre-clubbing shower
and I'd always planned to have a look in your special winnie the pooh book.
the place was marked and it was there in blue and white -
it said simply, "paul stayed last night"
Next I was on the bog
and you got down on one knee.
You were protesting your innocence
and you started to cry as I started to pee.

You said, "I didn't shag him, he slept on the couch in the kitchen.
He might as well be a girl.
He's a good for a laugh and he's good for bitchin"

You said you'd never be willing or able.
And he looks like he was made on a fucking table.
Although, to be fair, I think he hides the bolts quite well,
but as soon as he opens his mouth you can just tell.
I had just assumed you'd completely gone off shagging
and I can you seen you with your new uni pals, standing bragging.
now he's your boyfriend and I know you were talking shite
but you still deny it when I met you at someone's birthday party the other night.

You said, "I didn't shag him, he slept on the couch in the kitchen.
It's just like one of the girls.
We have a good laugh when we're sitting bitchin'"

The words that you used to think turned me on just made me laugh -
"do you want to suck my cunt?" in real life just sounds naff.
And when we were with your friends I just as well might of been no one.
And you can't get over your dead dog - well it takes one to know one.

I need them for my headaches, I need them for skin.
We need it for a night out and sometimes for a night in.
The room stinks of poppers, the bog's full of bile.
At least I'm not shitting blood again.
I always sat it's worst in the while.

I hear we had a good time.
I hear I was a riot.
I would've like me a lot last night,
I could've put me to shame last night.

I feel out with a lover, I fell out with my friends.
I'm still trying to work out where the weekend ends.
No solids on Sunday, we can eat in the week.
You said I was fucked - you got some fucking cheek

I hear we had a good time.
I hear I was a right laugh.
I really loved you a lot last night.
I could've hugged you to death last night.