Licensed to Ill
Album - 15 novembre 1986 - Debaser id 12933

Because mutiny on the bounty's what we're all about
I'm gonna board your ship and turn it on out
No soft sucker with a parrot on his shoulder
'Cause I'm bad gettin' bolder - cold getting colder
Terrorizing suckers on the seven seas
And if you've got beef - you'll get capped in the knees
We got sixteen men on a dead man's chest
And I shot those suckers and I'll shoot the rest

[chorus]
Most illingest b-boy - I got that feeling
Cause I am most ill and I'm rhymin' and stealin'

Snatching gold chains - vicking pieces of eight
I got your money and your honey and the fly name plate
We got wenches on the benches - and bitties with titties
Housing all girlies from city to city
One for all and all for one
Taking out M.C.'s with a big shotgun
All for one and one for all
Because the Beastie Boys have gone A.W.O.L.
Friggin' in the riggin' and cuttin' your throat
Big biting suckers getting thrown in the moat
We got maidens and wenches - man they're on the ace
Captain Bly is gonna die when we break his face

[repeat chorus]

Ali Baba and the forty thieves

Torching and crakin' and rhymin' and stealin'
Robbin' and raping - busting two in the ceiling
I'm wheeling' - I'm dealin' - I'm drinking, not thinking
Never cower, never shower - and I'm always stinking
Ho ho ho and a pint of Brass Monkey
And when my girlie shakes her hips - she sure gets funky
Skirt chasing, free basing - killing every village
We drink and rob and rhyme and pillage

[repeat chorus]

I've been drinking my rum - a Def son of a gun
I fought the law and I cold won
Black Beard's weak - Moby Dick's on the tick
'Cause I pull out the jammy and squeeze off six
My pistol is loaded - I shot Betty Crocker
Deliver Colonel Sanders down to Davey Jones' locker
Rhymin' and stealin' in a drunken state
And I'll be rockin' my rhymes all the way to Hell's gate

[repeat chorus]

Well this girl came up to me - she says she's new in town
But the crew been said they seen her around
I thought they were right but I didn't wanna know
The girlie was Def and she wanted to go
I think her name is Lucy but they all call Loose
I think I thought I seen her on eighth and forty-deuce
The next thing she said, "My place or yours?
Let's kick some bass behind closed doors!"
We got into the cab - the cab driver said
He recognized my girlie from the back of her head
He said a little something about tip to base
So I made him stop the cab to get out of the place
I shouldn't have looked back man I'll always regret it
Something's going on and I'll probably never get it
She was crying like a baby - stupid dumb
It's just too bad that girl's a bum

Chorus:
She's crafty - she's gets around
She's crafty - she's always down
She's crafty - she's got a gripe
She's crafty - and she's just my type
She's crafty

I spent my last dollar to by a Sabrett
When I seen this girl I could never forget
Now I like nothing better than a pretty girl smile
And I haven't seen a smile that pretty in a while
The girl came up to me she said she loved the show
Asked her to come home and she couldn't say, "No!"
We got the crib - there's Adam and D.
We didn't say a word - they just stared at me
I said, "I don't know her just met her tonight."
And Adrock started hiding everything in sight
D. pulled me over said, "Hide your gold,
The girl is crafty like ice is cold!"
The girl is crafty - she knows all the moves
I started playing records - she knew all the grooves
He thought she was a thief - and D. was right
But I just figured she'd spend the night
When I woke up late in the afternoon
She had taken all the things from inside his room
I found myself sleeping in the middle of the floor
She had taken the bed and the chest of drawers
The mirror, the TV, the new guitar cord
My remote control and my old skateboard
She robbed us blind - she took all we owned
And the boys blamed me for bringing her home

(Chorus)

Yes, yes, y'all - you don't stop
You keep it on - and shockin' the place
Well I'm M.C.A. - I got nothing to prove
Pay attention - my intention is to bust a move
I drink quarts and cans and bottles and sixes
Between the turntables keep the vodka and the mixes
I'm Mike D. - I got the deuces wild
A list of girlies numbers that I've dialed
I do the Smurf, the Popeye, and the Jerry Lewis
I like Bullwinkle but I don't like Moose
I'm schoolin' in the boys' room - coolin' by the locker
All the girls in class know that I'm the cool rocker
Punk in the hall - man I should of oughtta hit him
Had the fresh rhymes and the kid cold bite 'em
Smokin' in the boys room is what I do best
While you were at a party - your girlfriend fessed
I keep a pistol in my pocket so you better be cautious
Fly around the world - but it makes me nauseous
Mike D.'s day off everyday of the week
I got to the party - and I did the freak
I got a girl in the Castle and one in the pagoda
You know I got rhymes like Abe Vigoda
I'm a Def Manhattan killer - a rhyme driller
A mike in my hand and a mouth full of Miller
I got a hat not a visor - I drink Budweiser
The turntables - up on the drum riser
The needle's in the groove and the vinyl's on the platter
I know that I'm fly man there's no need to flatter
I travel around the globe - it's keeping girlies dizzy
My name's Mike D. - now watch me get busy y'all

You're a fake wearin' sucker whose gold got rusted
4Cheaper than a hot do with no mustard
You tried to steal my fresh and you got cold busted
Because your crew's all soft and I'm disgusted
I'm from downtown the city of Manhattan
I got a lotta girlies and not one's cattin'
My posse's in effect and we're doin' the do
And we got more rhymes than your whole damn crew
Caught you poppin' that weak and you must of been dusted
Stuck you head in the toilet and stone cold flushed it
Word.

You wake up late for school - man you don't wanna go
You ask you mom, "Please?" - but she still says, "No!"
You missed two classes - and no homework
But your teacher preaches class like you're some kind of jerk!

(chorus) You gotta fight for your right to paaaaaaaaaaaaaarty

You pop caught you smoking - and he said, "No way!"
That hypocrite - smokes two packs a day
Man, living at home is such a drag
Now your mom threw away your best porno mag (Busted!)

(Chours)
you gotta fight

Don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear
I'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair
Your mom busted in and said, "What's that noise?"
Aw, mom you're just jealous - it's the Beastie Boys!

(Chours)
PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTY
paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarty

(chorus) No sleep 'til - Brooklyn

Foot on the pedal - never ever false metal
Engine running hotter than a boiling kettle
My job's ain't a job - it's a damn good time
City to city - I'm running my rhymes
On location - touring around the nation
Beastie Boys always on vacation
Itchy trigger finger but a stable turntable
I do what I do best because I'm willing and able
Ain't no faking - your money I'm taking
Going coast to coast - watching all the girlies shaking
While you're at the job working nine to five
The Beastie Boys at the Garden - cold kickin' it live

(bridge) No sleep 'til -

Another plane - another train
Another bottle in the brain
Another girl - another fight
Another drive all night
Our manager's crazy - he always smokes dust
He's got his own room at the back of the bus
Tour around the world - you rock around the clock
Plane to hotel - girls on the jock
We're thrashing hotels like it's going out of style
Getting paid along the way cause it's worth your while
Four on the floor - Adrock's out the door
M.C.A.'s in the back because he's sleezin' with a whore
We got a safe in the trunk with money in a stack
With dice in the front and Brooklyn's in the back

(repeat bridge)

(repeat chorus)

Ain't seen the light since we started this band
M.C.A. - get on the mic my man
Born and bred Brooklyn - U.S.A.
They call me Adam Yauch - but I'm M.C.A.
Like a lemon to a lime - a lime to a lemon
I sip the def ale with all the fly women
Got limos, arena, TV shows
Autograph pictures and classy hoes
Step off holmes - get out of my way
Taxing little girlies from here to L.A.
Waking up before I get to sleep
Cause I'll be rocking this party eight days a week

(repeat chorus)

Now here's a little story I gots to tell,
about three bad brothers you know so well.
It started way back in history with Adrock, MCA and me, Mike D.

I had a little horsey named Paul Revere.
Just me and my horsey and a quart of beer.
Ridin' cross the land, kickin' up sand.
Sheriff's posses on my tail cuz I'm in demand.
One lonely Beastie I be,
all by myself without nobody.
The sun is beatin' down on my baseball hat.
The air is gettin' hot, the beer is gettin' flat.
Lookin' for a girl, I ran into a guy.
His name is MCA, I said "howdy", he said "hi."

He told a little story that sounded well rehearsed.
Four days on the run and now he's dying of thirst.
The brew was in my hand, and he was on my tip.
His voice was hoarse, his throat was dry, he asked me for a sip.
He said "Can I get some?"
I said "You can't get none."
I had a chance to run,
but he pulled out his shotgun.
Quick on the draw, I thought I'd be dead.
He put the gun to my head and this is what he said:
"My name is MCA, I got a license to kill.
I think you know what time it is, it's time to get ill.
So what do we have here?
An outlaw and his beer.
I run this land, you understand, I've made myself clear."
We stepped into the wind, he had a gun, I had a grin.
As if this story's over, but it's ready to begin.

"I've got the gun, you've got the brew.
You've got two choices of what you can do.
It's not a tough descision as you can see.
I can blow you away or you can ride with me."
I said, "I'll ride with you if you can get me to the border.
The Sheriff is after me for what I did to his daughter.
I did it like this, I did it like that.
I did it with the whiffle ball bat.
So I'm on the run, the cop's got my gun.
Right about now it's time to have some fun.
The King Adrock, that is my name,
and I know the fly spot where they got the champagne."
We rode for six hours then we hit the spot.
The beat was-a-bumpin' and the girlies was hot.
This dude was starin' like he knows who we are,
so we took the empty spot next to him at the bar.
MCA said "Yo, you know this kid?"
I said I didn't but I knew he did.
The kid said, "Get ready, cuz this ain't funny.
My name is Mike D and I'm bout to get money."
He pulled out the jammey, aimed it at the sky.
He yelled, "Stick 'em up!" And let two fly.
Hands went up and people hit the floor.
He wasted two kids that ran for the door.
"I'm Mike D and I get respect.
Your cash and your jewelry is what I expect."
MCA what with it, and he's my ace,
so I grabbed the piano player and punched him in the face.
The piano player's out, the music stopped.
This boy had beef, and he got dropped.
Mike D grabbed the money, MCA snatched the gold.
I grabbed two girlies and a beer that's cold.

Now I chill real ill when I start to chill
When I fill my pocket with a knot of dollar bills
Sipping pints of ale out the window sill
When I get my fill I'm chilly chill
Now I just got home because I'm out on bail
What's the time? - it's time to buy ale
Peter eater - parking meter all of the time
If I run out of ale - it's Thunderbird wine
Miller drinking - chicken eating - dress so fly
I got friends in high places that are keeping me high
Down with Mike D. and it ain't no hassle
Got the ladies of the eighties from here to White Castle

(chorus) Hold it now - hit it!

M.C. - Adam Yauch in the place to be
And all the girls are on me cause I'm down with Mike D.
I'm down with Mike D. and it ain't no baloney
For real, not phony - "O.E." and Rice-a-Roni
I come out at night 'cause I sleep all day
And I'm the King Adrock and he's M.C.A.
Well I'm cruising, I'm bruising - I'm never ever losing
I'm in my car - I'm going far and dust is what I'm using
Around the way is where I'm from
And I'm from Manhattan and I'm not a bum
Because you're pud-slapping, ball-flapping - got that juice
My name's Mike D. and I can do that Jerry Lewis

(repeat chorus)

Hip-hop, body rockin' - doing the do
Beer drinking, breath stinking, sniffing glue
Belly flipping, always illing, busting caps
My name's Mike D. and I write my own snaps
I'm a peep-show seeking on the forty-deuce
I'm a killer at large and I'm on the loose
Pistol packing, Monkey drinking, no money bum
I come from Brooklyn 'cause that's where I'm from
Cheap-skate, perpetrating - money hungry jerk
Everyday I drink a "O.E." and I don't go to work
You drippy nose knuckle-head - you're wet behind the ears
You like men - and we like beer.

(repeat chorus)

King of the Ave. with the Def female
You're rhyming and stealin' with the freshest ale
Cooling at the crib watching my TV
Ed Norton - Ted Knight - and Mr. Ed
Pump it up homeboy - just don't stop
Chef Boy-ar-dee cooling on the pot
I take no slack cause I got the knack
And I'm never dusting out cause I torch that crack
The King Adrock - that is my name
And you're drinking Moet - we got the champagne
A quarter dropping - going shopping buying wigs
Surgeon general cut professor - D.J. Thigs

(repeat chorus)

Brass Monkey, that funky Monkey
Brass Monkey junkie
That funky Monkey

Got this dance that's more than real
Drink Brass Monkey here's how you feel
Put your left leg down, your right leg up
Tilt your head back let's finish the cup
M.C.A. with the bottle
D. rocks the can
Adrock gets nice with Charlie Chan
We're offered Moet, we don't mind Chivas
Wherever we go with bring the Monkey with us
Adrock drinks three
Mike D. is D.
Double R. foots the bill most definitely
I drink Brass Monkey and I rock well
I got a castle in Brooklyn that's where I dwell

Brass Monkey, that funky Monkey
Brass Monkey junkie
That funky Monkey

Cause I drink it anytime and anyplace
When it's time to get ill I pour it on my face
Monkey tastes def when you pour it on ice
Come on y'all it's time to get nice
Coolin' by the lockers getting kind of funky
Me and the crew, we're drinking Brass Monkey
This girl walked by she gave me the eye
I reached in the locker grabbed the Spanish Fly
I put it with the Monkey mixed it in the cup
Went over to the girl, "Yo baby, what's up?"
I offered her a sip, the girl she gave me lip
It did begin the stuff wore in and now she's on my tip

Brass Monkey, that funky Monkey
Brass Monkey junkie
That funky Monkey

Step up to the bar put the girl down
She takes a big gulp and slaps it around
Take a sip, you can do it, you get right to it
We had a case in the place and we went right through it
You got a dry Martini thinking you're cool
I'll take your place at the bar, I smack you off your stool
I'll down a '40 dog" in a single gulp
And if you got beef you'll get beat to a pulp
Monkey and parties and reelin' and rockin'
Def, def
Girls, girls
All y'all jockin'
The song and dance keeping you in a trance
If you don't buy my record I got my advance
I drink it
I think it
I see it
I be it
I love Brass Monkey but I won't give D. it
We got the bottle you got the cup
Come on everybody let's get ffffff

Brass Monkey, that funky Monkey
Brass Monkey junkie
That funky Monkey

Brass Monkey, that funky Monkey
Brass Monkey junkie
That funky Monkey

(chorus) Let it flow - let yourself go
Slow and low - that is the tempo

It's never old school - all brand new
So everybody catch - the bugaloo flu
Not like a fever - not like a cold
The beats are clear - the rhymes are bold
So don't see a doctor or see a nurse
Just listen to the music - first things first
First of all - get off the wall
It's time to party so have a ball
Because we slowed it on down - so get the hell up
Like a volcano I'll erupt
We got determination - bass and highs
White Castle fries only come in one size
What you see is what you get
And you ain't seen - nothing yet

(repeat chorus)

I do not sing - but I make a Def song
You could live your whole life - and I hope you live long
On the Gong Show we won't get gonged
We're the Beastie Boys - not Cheech and Chong
Strong as an ox - fresh out the box
The crowd is so live - they're coming in flocks
And when we go on - the crowd goes off
It's all hard rock - there's nothing soft

(repeat chorus)

We don't only rock the house but we'll house we rock
We don't stroll but we roll straight to the top
M.C.A., Adrock, Mike D. makes three
And we can do it like this in the place to be
When I'm recorded - you'll be rewarded
I know my song is Def 'cause you all applauded
Not P.C.P. or L.S.D. - just me Mike D. in the place to be
This is not free - you must pay a fee
Cash on delivery like a C.O.D.

(repeat chorus)

The beat is slow in order to dance
I wanna hear I dos and no I can't
First you move your legs - and then your arms
It's not fast and nervous - this dance is calm
It's truly stable and you ought to be able
To dance to the record when it's on the turntable

(repeat chorus)