Twisted by Design
Album - 5 maggio 1998 - Debaser id 21482

No one knows where
I buried my sweet Virgina Madison
the winter chill falls over me
and keeps me numb inside
under the moon by the edge of town
she'll quietly wait for me
I promised it wouldn't be too long
till I returned to sleep with her

she said she don't wanna live no more
well I don't mind
no I don't mind
so now I'm waitin' for the crack of dawn
to head on back there
to the place where me and her will always be

now I got my Sunday vest
and I'm headed out that door
dig my fingers deep in soil just to get to her
all dressed in black and she's so pale
she's waiting there for me
a blanket of soil covers us
to fall asleep in eternity
...and now I close my eyes

when I awake with a snap it was all a dream
I gotta empty bottle of something under me
I gotta really bad headache
my clothes are soaking wet
at times like this I wish I hadn't slept
star locked gaze, uneasy hands
then the dream fades away
and leaves my head
another riddle another dream
another fucked up fantasy
gotta learn to stay away from all this tv

she said she would always wait for me
well i don't mind
no i don't mind
so now i'm headin' to the place where i
burried my sweet virginia madison

this god damn car is broken down again looks like i'm sleepin' in the back and i'll be dreamin' of a better place
only to call you in the morning with the same excuse again
by the side of the freeway watchin' all the cars go by
i think tomorrow will be the day i get my shit together and give up this crying game
i've been here before i know i'll be here again
i don't know why but it don't feel the same

for one moment i can see clearly
the weight of the world don't seem so bad
then i find myself here right back where i started from again

indecisions's no solution the days that lay ahead so i begin to scramble in my head for the answers
only to find myself shutdown by the same mistakes again
lookin over my shoulder for the things that pass me by
i know tomorrow will be the same i'll find a new excuse to make the same mistakes again
i've been here before i know i'll be here again
so many wasted hours so many wasted intentions

chorus.

i beat myself got to survive
i've got more will now to stay alive
if i could only find the time
if i could only find a reason
if i could only run this last leg first time around
i wouldn't be stuck in another mess
in another realm with the same old stress

chorus.

It's four o' clock
the t.v.'s on
my mind is shut off
and my own thoughts are gone
I change the channel
I change my mind
I change my life
I wanna leave it all behind
cause I don't have a mind of my own
I am influenced by
everything I see
and I can't help it now
everything in my life
just thinks for me

can't help this habit
I'm in love with my disease
worshiping my idle time
a life I cannot seize
trapped by depression
and I sleep all day
but xanax, valium, attavan
makes it all ok
it's so much more
than a cry for attention
no loving hands can sooth this ache
so much more than a war with the world
it's my own degradation
it's my own self hate

I preach my pessimism
right out loud to anyone who'll listen
I'm not afraid to be alive
I'm afraid to be alone

late at night my monsters find me
from under the bed or out of my past
all alone with nobody to talk to
sanity gets put to the test
I close my eyes but I'm still haunted
sometimes I get too twisted to sleep
as all my world crumbles all around me
inspirations become admissions of defeat
cuz I don't have a mind of my own
everything in my life just thinks for me

I find myself here once again
under clouds of indecision
reflections looking right through me
I can't believe the lies we tell ourselves
the music used to be everything
the music used to heal
but business soon becomes reality
and nothing left inside is real
dysfunction's all that we see true
allow my best to see this through
got nothing left to give you
now I gotta find a better way
turned against each other
with the games we all like to play
looking straight ahead
It's hard to see things eye to eye
not at all what it used to be
something that I can't deny
and now I leave it up to you
allow my best to see this through
got nothing left to give you
now I gotta find a better way
before I lose another part of me

A look of discontentement fills your hazel eyes
As I ask for the millionth time what's goin' on?
You seem to be confused about just where you stand with me tonight
As we tear apart all that wasn't lost to another fight

And so we turn against each other once again
You run and I go hide
Talkin' to myself again 'bout all the things I should've said
And I wait for you
I still wait for you

I wanna know where this is going
And do we still have a chance to save what we haven't lost again
I made a promise to myself no to let this go
But now I need to see this trough
To burn these paper walls of doubt

And so we turn against each other once again
You run and I go hide
Talkin' to myself again 'bout all the things I should've said
And I wait for you
I still wait for you

My fucked up head is spinning round
And all my toughts just keep me down
Here on your doorstep I'm drunk again
I know youre sick of all my shit
And I know you wanna end all this
So tell me right now where do you stand?

I know youre tired of this waiting game
And I know your tired of all ma ways
I know your tired of it all
Just tell me now

I wanna know where this is going
And do we still have a chance to save what we haven't lost inside
All these paper walls we build
And all the ashes that have spilled
get in the way x2

And so we turn against each other once again
You run and I go hide
Talkin' to myself again 'bout all the things I should've said
And I wait for you
I still wait for you

One o one point one Fahrenheit
To some it's a fever, to her it's just right
And I can't hold her
And it's bringin' me down
Her blood runs hot but her heart beats cold
She's devil with an angels face I've been told
I think I'll push my luck next time you're around
I'd walk through fire for you
I'd burn in hell to make it all true
I never loved anyone else in this world but you
A thousand reasons why I try to prove to you
I'm not the other guy
I don't give a damn what other people think
A flare for the strange and a temper like a whip
A soft hand clutches a riding crop grip
Smell of latex rubber- it drives me insane
Beat him once then send him on his way
There's no room in your life for anyone to stay
Engrave your moniker in welts of pain
There's nothin' I wouldn't do to prove
To make these words I promised true
I'd rather live my life alone than without you
You know I'd rather die then fuck this up
Wouldn't get another try
Got one chance there's nothing I wouldn't do
You be my master I'll be your servant
On my knees I beg to be abused
You can take the skin right off my back
With a riding crop or a leather strap
I'd take it all just to be with you
I'd walk though fire for you
I'd burn in hell to make it all true
I never loved anyone in this world but you
You know I rather die than fuck this up
Wouldn't get another try
You're my goddess and I'll worship you

grey sky man is talking to the sidewalk once again
your perfect vision of the world it goes unheard
as the rain falls down on your head it slips inside the cracks of another fruitless day
here in the land of king alvarez

you're losing once again
it's getting harder to survive when the world that's all around you just don't seem to care
and the universe you've built for yourself is caving in right on you
and the streets are getting colder then they used to be these days and now

i see you walkin' down the boulevard alone and your screaming at the top of your lungs
all night and i wonder to myself how did you get to be this king without a throne

its just another sunny day here in the land of babylon
to see the things that no one sees to hear the lie that no one tells
its getting lonely in this place
gettin tired of it all

i've wondered to myself how many times he's cracked inside
screaming at the top of your lungs and now
the voices in your head keep getting louder with the passing of each day
it's getting harder to go on
i don't know what you don't know
you wouldn't play that game the same
you wouldn't play that game at all

as the rain falls down on your head
it slips inside the cracks of another fruitless day
here in the land of alvarez

"Tattoo"

Another desperate call you're not around
I got a head so full of worry
cuz you're nowhere to be found
displaced and out of order I've been down
on my hands and knees so many nights
crawling around this place for days
well I know you heard me say it all before
I can bleed myself so many times
before I start to doubt
but this time I'm gonna let it go
you're way too far away
and I got too much that I wanna say
and now I'm hangin on to every word
I never said to you
here in this phone booth
guess I'll wait around and pay my dues
tonight I got a new best friend
chemical inebriation
I'm passin time without you all alone
I was never one for patience
I was never one for trust
I'm a little bit neurotic so
ignore me if you must
this brain of mine won't let me let it go
I'm not gonna let you get away
I got too much that I wanna say
[Chorus]

I can see it in your eyes
I can hear it in your voice
the signs are obvious
that all we had has run its course
and I don't mind giving up the upper hand
in this little charade
cause I've spent too many nights here on the floor
waiting for something inside you to change

Don't look back in anger now is all that you can see
cause angers all I got to keep me warm when you're away
and I know that this is nothing new
but tonight is all I know
disconnect myself from your memory
and never feel anything at all
to justify with all your words and all your actions
don't mean anything to me
cause I've cut you off

So here we stand and face each other
we've got nothing to say
a flashback to another time
when silence was a welcomed friend
now I'm sorry I can never really say
all the things going on inside my head
silence is a justified expression of my war
now nothings like it was before

Don't look back in anger now is all that you can see
cause angers all I got to keep me warm when you're away
and all your words and all your actions
don't mean anything to me
cause I've cut you off

Don't look back at anger
Don't look back at anger
Don't look back at anger
It's just a memory

It's easy to forget your face
and it's easy to survive in this place
without you without you
I just comb my hair and wash my face
keep straight ahead and keep my pace
just think about nothing, and I'll be alright.
well I got my friends I got my pen
I got a million distractions to keep me warm
and I all I know is that it will be alright.